Madam Deputy Speaker, we are entering a season of peace and goodwill, and so this is the occasion for kind words, for thanks and for holiday good wishes. But, before I get to the good wishes, perhaps you would, on this last day, indulge me a little mischief.
Last year, in my farewell speech, I told a Christmas allegory. You will recall that Parliament was going into recess with elections in the offing. I said that the Christmas season is about giving and receiving - giving and receiving presents. As I looked around the Chamber it reminded me of a family around a Christmas tree on Christmas morning - eagerly awaiting their presents, full of anticipation and excitement. I warned, however, that not everyone's anticipation would be met - some would be disappointed and there could even be tears. We know that Christmas has come and gone, as have the elections, and some of my prognostications were, unfortunately, correct.
I decided to write to Father Christmas and ask him why, for instance, the ANC had not received as many presents as it had anticipated. "Well", he said, "there was too much infighting and they really hadn't performed." [Laughter.]
He had been really pleased with the DA, hence the extra presents - he was even going to make its leader sit on top of a Christmas tree as a little angel! He said he had rewarded Cope generously, but that there was still too much sibling rivalry. He did promise, however, that if they co-operated with the DA, they would in future receive an abundance of presents. [Laughter.]
The IFP, he said, received fewer presents, but that was because they did not do their homework.
As for the Freedom Front Plus ... well ... yes, they did not receive more presents simply because they still believed there could be a white Christmas in Africa. [Laughter.]
I did say to Father Christmas that I was disappointed that he had sent some early presents this year - BMWs and Mercedes Benzes. One Minister was even able to choose the colour of his Mercedes Benz. One went to a Minister, a committed communist, who, I doubt, even celebrates Christmas.
I asked why the poor Minister of Finance only got a suped-up Volkswagen. "Well", said Father Christmas, quoting the Bible, "the poor shall inherit the earth", and with a budget deficit that size, I think the Minister of Finance is waiting for that inheritance to come very quickly!
Well, perhaps once again, this allegory is a bit too complicated for the end of this session, so I will leave it there. So let me just move on and thank, first of all, the House for its full co- operation; the Chief Whips and the Chief Whips' Forum for working so well together; and the Speaker, for being who he is, and for presiding over this House with his customary elegance.
Allow me also to thank the Whippery of my own party, more specifically, my Deputy Chief Whip, Mike Ellis, and all other Whips who help me and make the functioning of my office efficient; likewise my staff, my personal assistant and my various assistants. Indeed, I would like to thank all the Whips of all the parties who co-operate so well in the interest of Parliament.
Allow me also to thank all the presiding officers and all the staff of Parliament from the most senior to the most junior for doing their best to treat us with courtesy and consideration and for giving their best.
Finally, may I take the opportunity to wish the Speaker, the presiding officers and all hon members and staff a happy, blessed Christmas and a very good new year.